I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize