Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
