I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
