I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
