i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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