No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize