I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
