You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
