clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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