You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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