Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
