Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
