you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
