i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
