if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They took my balls.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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