He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
