it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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