I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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