someone get that fucking seahorse.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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