Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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