He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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