Its about making memories worth repressing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
