Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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