I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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