Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
