Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i now understand why vodka
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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