she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
