So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
