Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
