Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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