Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
