Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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