Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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