If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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