im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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