We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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