My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
