Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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