Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
