Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Holy sore nipples Batman
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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