you would pick up someone in the library
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
