I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
