Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
