can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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