note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
