shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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