shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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