we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
