I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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