Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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