A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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