Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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