she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Umm I'm too high to move.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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