We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
