Joe is yelling at the trees again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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