She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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