gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
