And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
