if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My bed smells like the plague
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
