lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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