I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
