better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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