im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE