is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.