So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
pray to the hookup gods
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back