We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?