you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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