Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
