I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I came so hard my ears popped.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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