Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
