So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
