I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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